I had heard the rumblings of the reorg at work before I returned and knew a little about it because of the one meeting that I had gone in for a few weeks before returning to work. I knew that people were concerned and upset. Just like with anything, people resist change. I thought it would be less impact on me because I had been gone for awhile, but oh, I was wrong.
The new job is similar to my old one. Structured a little differently...a new boss...new coworkers...and some new or expanded responsibilities, but all in all...I thought it would be good. And I still think there's a chance that the new job will be good. I miss my old team...we had worked out all of our quirks and we knew how to work well with each other, so this is starting over in a way...but that's ok. The job and some of the new responsibilities are exciting challenges and opportunities. However, there is one "challenge" that has come up that I'm not looking forward to and I think is going to be a real pain.
One of my new coworkers, who I will have to work more closely with than the others, has been an issue before, but we rarely worked together in the past. She had a different job and there really was minimal interaction with her. On a few occasions, I thought she seemed difficult in meetings and thought she caused disagreements just for the sake of causing a disagreement. Now, that I have to work more closely with her, the drama has really started.
I admit that I'm not really used to this kind of chaos. Most of my former bosses and coworkers would say that one of my strengths is that I'm easy to work with and work and play well with others. I believe in being a teamplayer and I definitely don't believe that I have all the answers which is why I enjoy working with others because I learn so much from other people. However, I think I may have met the person who is near impossible to work with.
The breaking point probably came on Friday the 16th...during the week, there had been lots of back and forths because she wanted to make some changes to our responsibilities to make her job easier instead of (from my perspective) doing what was best for the Command or even a large group of people at the Command that we "represent". I reviewed each proposal that she sent and gave honest feedback, but I couldn't see disrupting, inconveniencing, and causing issues for others just so that she could remain in her "comfort zone", especially since she had been promoted for this job and I believe that our level, we're Command assets and supposed to be out of our "comfort zones" and do what's best for the Command, not ourselves.
By Friday, I had just about reached my limit with the whiney attempts to get her way. It was like a temper tantrum. But the part that really pushed me over the edge (besides the fact that I thought we had agreed on a way ahead at least 4 or 5 times at this point) was that she sent an email to me and our new boss (who doesn't really know me) and not only attempted to make it sound like she was coming up with these proposals for the betterment of everyone (she never mentioned the previous ones that were all geared at one thing) and that I had not been willing to listen to her and had told her to "shut up and color". I NEVER said that and anyone who knows me, knows that I would never say that. I didn't appreciate the disparaging comments and I admit that it made me mad...which isn't something that I like to show at work.
Without going into all of the gory details, this woman continued to pass half-truths and partial information to our boss to imply that I was being difficult, etc. She was out of the office the next week, so I told her that I would review her proposals and get other relevant parties involved in the discussion and when she got back we would get together and discuss further. So, I kept our boss in the loop and worked to objectively review these proposals and explore other options (despite the fact that I knew this was all geared around her temper tantrum about not being able to justify making her life easy and inconvenience others). One would think this was a good thing, but apparently with this woman it was not.
When she returned and we met she started the meeting by yelling at me and telling me how I was going behind her back, etc. First things first, attacking me is not a good way to start a conversation with me and it takes a lot to make me mad, but once I hit that point...it's very difficult for me to get passed that...So, needless to say...this was really it for me. I held my calm for almost an hour of her snide comments and rude attitude and then I finally broke and said enough is enough and told her exactly what I thought of this whole thing and her behavior. This was, I believe, the first time in my 10 years of government service where I lost my calm and almost used profanity in a meeting.
I had my say and that wrapped up the meeting by repeating what I thought the agreement had been (because I thought we had agreed several times before) and then stated what the next steps would be. I spent a little more time talking to this person after the meeting, per her request. I simply stated the same things in a calmer state. I may have lost my temper, but I stand behind everything I said. I was trying to be a teamplayer with her, but I'm not going to agree to something that causes issues for others simply to make her life easier and I'm not going to tolerate someone who is being dishonest and manipulative to make me look bad, when, in this case, I didn't do anything to deserve it.
So, the regret comes in because I do regret losing my temper. I wish I had not lost my temper and I regret that others in the room had to see that because it was not directed at them. I do not, however, regret anything I said. Unfortunately, I fear this drama will continue to be part of my life until someone moves to another job...whether that's me or whether that's her...only time will tell. But for now, I will document everything and try to ensure that everything is in writing so that when she tries to provide partial and dishonest information, I have the evidence to prove my case, if need be. So sad that this has to be. Really makes me wish I would win the lottery and could quit my job...of course, we don't play the lottery, so I guess the chance of that is slim to none...darn...
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