Palin Rally

Well, I couldn't resist. For the first time in 24 years there is a female VP nominee and she came to Fredericksburg...so, I just had to leave work to go see the rally and take pictures. It actually was a lot of fun and really makes me miss working in the political world. Of course, there's enough "office politics" at work to make anyone sick of politics...but it really is different. Who knows...maybe someday it'll be a Book-Pharis Rally...hmmmm

And the grass grows...

You always hear people say, "Life goes on" or "This too shall pass" and other benign comments about moving past some event in life. And while that's true...the sun still rises, people go about their day, good things happen and bad things happen...what these comments don't capture is the fact that you are forever changed by these events.

The fact is we are forever changed by many events in life...good ones and bad ones. We each experience happiness and heartache and in our own way "pass" through these events, but we are almost always changed by the significant ones. Learning to drive, getting married, graduating, having children, losing loved ones. These are all events (among others) that define who we become and how we see the world.

I never imagined that my view of the world would be so significantly altered this past year and I would be constantly pained by what should be a joyous event. But that's how life is...you can never prepare for everything that comes your way. And I was not prepared.

I realize now...daily...how much I am not prepared for things. I am not prepared for the way I'll feel on a given day or how I will handle certain events. I was not prepared for the loss of Bailey 6 months ago. What I was prepared for was that about now, she would be sitting up on her own, rolling over, and trying to crawl. But instead, I see others with their children...friends having children...and I imagine what I would be doing and who I would be if things had turned out differently.

But as they say...life goes on. I don't think this will ever pass and there are days that are easier than others, but I realize that there will always be a void...a vacant spot in our lives that cannot be filled, no matter how much we try. As e.e. cummings said, "i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear...)." And thus, Bailey will always be with us, as will the pain of her loss.

At our weekly visit, we noticed that grass is starting to grow and thus time moves on and life goes on. There are births and there is death and yet the grass still grows.