Goodbye 2008

As 2008 comes to a close and I am thankful for the wonderful blessings we've received this year...but I am also thankful to say goodbye to this year. While this year did have many blessings for us, it also had perhaps the greatest tragedy and I am thankful to say goodbye to this year and start anew in 2009. So, here's to the good and bad of 2008 and to the hope and promise of 2009.

Happy New Year!

His first haircut...

Well, at least since August...And as Jon-Christian was starting to resemble Illinois Governor Blagojevich and we were afraid that he might be mistakenly jailed...we decided that he should finally get a haircut.

While it appears to have been a traumatic experience for him.

We all agree that it was a good decision and a good way to start off the new year.

Happy Holidays from the Pharis Family

As 2008 comes to a close and we prepare to decorate the house and begin our holiday shopping, I considered not sending a holiday letter this year. As in years past, there has been much that happened in our lives this year…some positive, some negative, some funny, some sad…but most all has been affected by the tragic loss of our daughter, Bailey. When trying to decide whether to write a letter, I was concerned that it would be difficult to find the humor and the letter would instead be a sad tale of our tragic year. But then I began to think of all of the blessings we have experienced this year, so I decided to write a letter afterall.

Both Wil and I received promotions in 2008. In April, I was officially offered and accepted a senior position in my Division. In June, Wil was selected for promotion to Navy Commander. This promotion will take effect sometime within the next year. We are very excited about these new opportunities and of course the increased pay doesn’t hurt either.

Wil transitioned from his tour on the Iwo Jima to living back in Fredericksburg on a regular basis in March. I know that some of you were sure that I’d be sending him back to the ship by now, but no…not yet anyway. J It’s actually been great having him home, other than the increased messiness of the house and the increased time I spend cleaning. But even with that, I am thrilled that he’s back home for this year and hopefully, his next assignment will place him close to home as well.

Not only did Wil move back to Fredericksburg this year, but Mini Wil, aka Jon-Christian, also moved in with us this year. He started the 5th grade at Conway Elementary School in Fredericksburg in September. He also started playing football this year on the Stafford Dolphins Peewee Team. And if you’re interested, you can check out the site we created for his football at http://dolphinsfootball.shutterfly.com/ I think we’ve all learned a lot about football and 5th grade this year. And I’ve learned that a 10-year-old Mini Wil is even messier than the 35-year-old version. I’m considering asking for a maid for Christmas.

Wil and I had the opportunity for some fun travel this year. In May we took our first cruise to the Western Caribbean and had a great time. We flew into Miami and for the first time I met some of Wil’s high school friends (Jason, George, and Jeff). It was quite an interesting experience to hear about a young Wil and a lifestyle that is very different than the Wil I know today. We stayed with Wil’s good friend Jason, his wife Lorena, and their son JJ, who showed us around Miami and Ft Lauderdale. I must admit that my first experience in Miami when I was a child was kind of scary, so I was really surprised at how pretty of a city it actually is, but alas we were on to even more beautiful places once we departed the Port of Miami.

I was concerned about the potential motion sickness, but I am happy to report that I was just fine. The ship was the Carnival Valor and it was amazing and filled with lots of things to do. We enjoyed good meals, shows, and coming back to our room to see the new towel animals every night. Unfortunately, a medical emergency on our first night at sea resulted in a Coast Guard evacuation (don’t worry we have pictures) and a rearranging of our port visits due to the detour.
Our first stop was Cozumel, Mexico where we took an excursion to the Mayan Ruins of Tulum. It was beautiful. Our next port was Belize where we took another excursion to Mayan Ruins, but this time it was Altun Ha and then a river boat along the River Wallace back to Belize City. Altun Ha was a steep climb and I had some painful muscles for the next few days. The third port was Roatan, Honduras. This was perhaps my favorite stop. Honduras is still relatively undeveloped and unbelievably beautiful. We also found out that Roatan is apparently where the opening scene from Fantasy Island was filmed. It hasn’t changed. Our excursion was to swim with the Dolphins at an amazing resort called Anthony’s Key. Ironically, the island we went to for our excursion was called Bailey’s Key. After our dolphin experience we went to a local beach and enjoyed the water until Wil was attacked by the infamous stalker fish. Don’t worry he recovered in time for our final port of call, Grand Cayman. This was our most developed port and a gorgeous island. We spent the day at Stingray City mingling with the Stingrays and then snorkeling which was a lot of fun until I got hit by a stray jellyfish tentacle which burned by hand and lip and promptly ended my snorkeling for the day. All in all between the fun in Miami with Wil’s friends and the cruise, with the exception of our honeymoon, this was probably one of our favorite vacations.

In July we went to Florida for what was supposed to be one week, but turned into two. During this trip we experienced the St Augustine Ghost Tour and ocean kayaking among other adventures. Perhaps most importantly we met Wil’s sister’s boyfriends. Kate’s boyfriend, Eddy, is a flight nurse in LA. (Don’t worry, Wil’s already made all of the jokes.) Danielle’s boyfriend, Justin, is in a rock band. (Don’t worry, Wil’s already made all of those jokes too.)
We also had a weekend excursion to Hershey, PA for Halloween to meet up with our friends Heather and Craig (and their kids: Toby, Aaron, Maggie, and Lorna). This trip was far less of an adventure for us than it was for them. Let’s just say that they planned to arrive early on Friday and didn’t make it to Hershey Park until late Saturday and ended up with a new car. Other than my belief that there is a mystical force that has tried to prevent me from going to Hershey Park (maybe it is Weight Watchers trying to stop me from eating all of the Chocolate), we finally made it and had a great time. (Some may recall that I was supposed to go in 2003, but well, we’ll just say something prevented us from going.) And since we were in the area, we headed over to Amish Country and visited Intercourse, PA. Another place I can mark off of the list of sites to visit.

I also got to do a bit of travel with work. In January I visited San Antonio and even got a few hours to visit the Alamo. What you’ve heard is true…it’s small. In August, I went to the US Military Academy at West Point, but Wil (as a Naval Academy Graduate) refuses to wear the West Point ball cap I brought back for him. But perhaps the best work trip was out to Los Angeles. I added a few days and went sightseeing with Wil’s sister, Kate. We hit all the hotspots (that is somewhat of a pun as I was out there during the LA fires in November that shut down many major highways, resulting in Kate’s trip to meet me turning into 6 hours instead of the 2 it would normally take). We saw Hollywood Boulevard, Rodeo Drive…we went on the Movie Star Homes Tour, etc…Every cheesy thing you should do in Hollywood, we did it and it was GREAT! And as many of you know, I am an avid Disney fan, so I had to see the original…yes, I took a day to visit Disneyland. And of course it was wonderful!

The true highlight of the year may be the two concerts we went to; Jimmy Buffet in August and the New Kids on the Block Reunion Tour in October. And I’ve got to tell you…I don’t know which one was better…they were both great in their own way. Wil might disagree and have a preferred concert of the two though…

Beyond the great travel adventures of the past year, this year has given us a renewed sense of importance of family and friends. We’ve had friends and family who were married this year and friends who have delivered healthy children. We’ve had friends who had exciting adventures, made life changing decisions, and bought new homes. We’re thrilled for all of them. The outpouring of love and sympathy from our family and friends in March/April was unexpected and most appreciated. If we had lost sight of how important you all are to us, we realize it now. It’s often easy to let life get in the way and forget to show appreciation and love to those who mean the most. But we saw the true meaning of friendship when friends and family drove/flew all night to be with us after Bailey’s loss; When Wil’s ship handled the arrangements for Bailey’s burial at Quantico National Cemetery; With the notes, cards, letters, emails, flowers, food, books, tree, and even just the hug or shoulder to lean on was offered and we thank you all. We couldn’t have gotten through this without you.

This year has been a year filled with many emotions and as it comes to a close, I can say that with the good, the bad, and everything in between, we have been blessed and we’re very thankful for those blessings we’ve received. We wish you all the happiest of holidays and all the best in the New Year.
Happy Holidays!
Wil, Pauletta, and Jon-Christian

Great Wolf Birthday...

To celebrate Jon-Christian's 11th birthday, we took him and 3 of his friends to the great Wolf Lodge in Williamsburg, VA.


We rented a loft and the boys had a great time at the water park and the arcade. I, however, decided that to really enjoy myself on this excursion that I should let the boys play at the water park and I should go to the outlet mall to get a little last minute Christmas shopping done.

All in all, it was a successful birthday celebration and we all had a good time...they at the water park...and me at the Kate Spade Outlet Store.

Hershey

Well, it's been 5 years now that Wil and I have been trying to visit Hershey, PA. He had planned to propose to me there 5 years ago. Unfortunately, the weekend we had planned for that trip, my father became very ill on the drive out and was admitted to Mary Washington Hospital. So the result was...no chocolate ring box and no "sweet" Hershey proposal, but instead a proposal on the floor of my father's hospital room. Perhaps not ideal, but very sweet in its own way.

We decided that we would try this weekend getaway again this past weekend. We were meeting Heather and her family who were driving out from Indiana to meet us. We had a whole slew of activities planned for our Halloween weekend...and that's where it all started to go wrong. I am starting to get the feeling that Hershey didn't want us to come. Or perhaps another even greater force was trying to keep me from Hershey. I secretly believe that it was Weight Watchers trying to keep me from completely ruining my diet and diving into the chocolate river like Augustus in Willy Wonka.

We were about 2 hours from Hershey when we got a call from Craig (Heather's husband) stating that their truck (which was pulling their camper) died somewhere in PA and that they were at a dealership looking for a new car because the rental car company didn't have a truck that could pull the camper. Some may think I'm joking at this point...but no...Heather and Craig did in fact leave their truck in Pennsylvania and bought a Ford Expedition to pull the family the rest of the way into Hershey. But this of course was not as straight forward of a process as one would hope.

If you've purchased an automobile in recent years, you know it can take quite some time for all of the paperwork to be completed, so Heather and Craig were dealing with that, plus they were buying a car out of state which had it's own issues. But as they thought they were finally ready to make it the rest of the way to Hershey on Friday...oh, no...the trailer hitch on the camper was not the same "style" as the one on the Expedition and required an adapter to actually be able to pull the camper. As this was now getting later into the evening and there was only one qualified individual to perform this type of complicated operation in the town and they were gone for the day, they had to wait until Saturday morning.

Heather, Craig, and the kids finally made it to Hershey and met up with us about 5pm on Saturday. We were already at Hershey Park. We had already completed the Hershey Chocolate World and Hershey Town Tours and were enjoying the rides. It was a good day, but definitely makes me wonder what mystical power is working to keep us away from Hershey. Is it really Weight Watchers? The Mars or Nestle Corporations? All possibilities...someday I'll get to the bottom of this conspiracy.

Palin Rally

Well, I couldn't resist. For the first time in 24 years there is a female VP nominee and she came to Fredericksburg...so, I just had to leave work to go see the rally and take pictures. It actually was a lot of fun and really makes me miss working in the political world. Of course, there's enough "office politics" at work to make anyone sick of politics...but it really is different. Who knows...maybe someday it'll be a Book-Pharis Rally...hmmmm

And the grass grows...

You always hear people say, "Life goes on" or "This too shall pass" and other benign comments about moving past some event in life. And while that's true...the sun still rises, people go about their day, good things happen and bad things happen...what these comments don't capture is the fact that you are forever changed by these events.

The fact is we are forever changed by many events in life...good ones and bad ones. We each experience happiness and heartache and in our own way "pass" through these events, but we are almost always changed by the significant ones. Learning to drive, getting married, graduating, having children, losing loved ones. These are all events (among others) that define who we become and how we see the world.

I never imagined that my view of the world would be so significantly altered this past year and I would be constantly pained by what should be a joyous event. But that's how life is...you can never prepare for everything that comes your way. And I was not prepared.

I realize now...daily...how much I am not prepared for things. I am not prepared for the way I'll feel on a given day or how I will handle certain events. I was not prepared for the loss of Bailey 6 months ago. What I was prepared for was that about now, she would be sitting up on her own, rolling over, and trying to crawl. But instead, I see others with their children...friends having children...and I imagine what I would be doing and who I would be if things had turned out differently.

But as they say...life goes on. I don't think this will ever pass and there are days that are easier than others, but I realize that there will always be a void...a vacant spot in our lives that cannot be filled, no matter how much we try. As e.e. cummings said, "i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear...)." And thus, Bailey will always be with us, as will the pain of her loss.

At our weekly visit, we noticed that grass is starting to grow and thus time moves on and life goes on. There are births and there is death and yet the grass still grows.

Anticipation...

This Thursday is the big day. Yes, it's the VP debate, but even more importantly...

It's hard to believe, but after a couple months of anticipation...it's almost here. That's right...the New Kids on the Block Reunion Concert is this Thursday at the Verizon Center in DC. I'm so excited. And yes, Wil is going with me. He has claimed that he'll have to be drunk to survive the concert, but either way, he is going. I may have to get a concert t-shirt from this experience.

My one real hope is that they don't attempt to "mature" and instead, I want to see all the same cheesy dance moves and the same songs. Only a few more days...

Ah, Joey...don't worry Wil, I won't leave you for him...

well, at least I don't think I will.

Back to school night...

Well, we attended our first back-to-school night for Jon-Christian. The good part is that we survived. Now, when I was a kid if my parents were going to be coming to school, I would've been an angel leading up to the visit. Apparently, there is either a gender difference or a generational difference in this thinking.

Ironically, on the day we went to school, Jon-Christian had received a "yellow" card that day indicating that something was not up to par. (Everyday they start with a green card, then go to yellow, and ultimately red.) When we enquired as to the reason for the yellow card, we discovered that this was the third in the three weeks of school and all were because of not turning in homework. Needless to say, this resulted in quite a bit of conversation that evening.

Leadership Training

Some may wonder if this is a joke...can you train leaders? You can train managers, but aren't leaders born? My thought would be, yes...kinda.

I spent this past week in OPM's Leadership Assessment Program. I was looking forward to training. It's usually like a vacation. You don't have to go to the office and well, you don't have to think, you get long lunches, you go home early, and it's usually somewhat entertaining and occasionally educational. Well, this training did not meet expectations!

This past week was fun and educational, but it was also stressful. It required my focus and attention and I even had to work at it. The results were good though. Apparently, I do have the skills necessary to be a leader, according to the group advisor and the results of my 360 feedback from peers, superiors, and subordinates.

The areas that I need to work on...I seem to avoid conflict (no kidding) and I'm also not very creative. That one took me by surprise. I actually thought I was pretty creative, but obviously not at work. Of course, how creative are you supposed to be when you work for the military...I mean...look at them...they all wear uniforms that are exactly alike...they all have similar haircuts...it's the den of uniformity. Seems like being different in this environment, may not be ideal. Perhaps, I'll have to rely on other outlets to develop my creative side.

The first tackle...

Jon-Christian decided that he wanted to play football this year. Most teams had started practicing in July, so it wasn't easy to find a team willing to take a new player who had never played before, but we finally found one, the Dolphins.



For his age range, the players can weigh up to 129lbs. Jon-Christian weighs about 74lbs, so he can be outweighed by quite a bit...and from looking at some of the other teams, he is.

He went to a couple of practices and had a good time. Earlier this week, they had the first scrimmage with another team, the Hurricanes. They decided to put Jon-Christian in as a Running Back. On his first play, he got flattened by the largest kid on the Canes. Not suprisingly, this first tackle ended in tears. Not mine or Wil's as some may expect. But Jon-Christian got
back up and gave it another shot and has been to another practice and an actual game since then.


They lost their first game, but he has the taste for football now and can't wait until his next game.

The first day of school

Today was Jon-Christian's first day at his new school. Other than some school bus snafus (the school system's issue, not our's), it seemed to be a success. He made a few friends, including one boy that lives just down the road and he's even a big fan of his young, cute teacher, Mrs. Yawberg. All in all, a successful day! :)

It was our first time...

At a Jimmy Buffet concert that is...that's right...that was the one relaxing thing we did over the Labor Day weekend, we went to see Jimmy Buffet at Nissan Pavilion.

There are many things we learned during this experience. First, there are lots of blow-up tropical items that can be attached to the roof of a car. Second, getting hit in the face with a blow-up beach ball actually doesn't feel so good. Third, being surrounded by tens of thousands of drunk people when you're sober can be annoying. Fourth, tens of thousands of people with "fins" is quite funny to watch. Fifth, Jimmy Buffet is FABULOUS! And this was perhaps one of the best concerts we've ever been to. (It's easy to see why there are so many Parrotheads...it's addictive.) And finally, Wil and I are really too old and set in our ways to party on the lawn...next time, it's probably a better option to get good seats for the show.

A new room...

As he starts a new school and his last year in elementary, Jon-Christian felt that it was time to move away from the Marvel/Spiderman themed room of his youth to a more mature and appropriate room for a 10 (almost 11) year old. The theme he chose, international. So, while he flew to Atlanta to spend Labor Day weekend with his mom, we began to remove furniture, patch nail holes, and paint.

The first day went fairly smooth...to begin with anyway. We were able to take his bed and desk apart, remove his toys, etc with few life threatening incidents. The only major injury of the weekend came when Wil sliced his finger open. While he probably needed stitches, he opted for trying put it back together with a butterfly bandaid. (Hopefully, we won't have to amputate at a later date...it was his middle finger and we know how often he uses that one.)

It took us 4 days, but we finally were able to put the finishing touches on Jon-Christian's room and give him the international flair that he hoped for. We gave him a trip around the world with each section of the room representing different parts of the world. Since the world is 3/4 water, he has 3 blue walls and 1 beige wall representing land.

Thinking of the great learning institutions of Europe, while at his desk, he is in Europe with the Eiffel Tower and pictures from around Europe hanging above his desk. To sleep, he heads off to Asia and the relaxation and beauty that Asia has to offer with its cool colors and Zen-like calm. Then when he wants to play, he heads out on an African Safari with zebra print cushions and tribal masks on the wall. When he is getting dressed he heads off to Middle East. When it's time for TV and video games, it's always a fiesta as he enters the Caribbean and Latin America. And finally as he leaves his room to enter the "real" world he is back in the U.S.

All in all, the room came together fairly well and we still have room to make additions as we will hopefully travel beyond his room to visit these places someday.

Labor Day

Labor Day originated in 1882 to create a day off for working citizens and became a federal holiday in 1894. For many, it's the last hooray of summer. For parents that may include one last summer vacation before the kids start to school. For most, it means a cookout and autumn is about to begin. For us, this year it meant laboring all weekend to redesign Jon-Christian's bedroom. So...I guess Labor Day this year was labor intensive.

Wil's in the closet...

That's right, I said it...but it's not quite what you think. For years now we've been convincing ourselves that our closet was sufficient to hold all of our stuff...and while we kept adding to it...we were sure that the closet would still hold. Unfortunately, physics played a part and we were no longer able to deceive ourselves. I like to blame Wil since the closet was sufficient to hold my stuff, plus the few things he left here when he lived on the ship. But once he came home, that poor closet just couldn't handle another sock.


As I'm sure others before us, we had some serious decisions to make. Do we part with the "extra" clothes that we do not need, do we put an addition on the house just for my shoes and purses, or do we reorganize the closet in hopes that we can create more storage through better organization. Since I don't have "extra" clothes (yes, that's right--it's all needed) and we can't afford an addition right now...we opted for doing things the JWAC way...we reorganized. This thought actually started a few months ago and we had Oleg the Russian Mafia representative from Closets by Design come to give us a quote. After he gave us a quote that would probably be comparable to an addition, we said we'd think about it. Note to self, it is scary to tell the Russian Mafia no...but we did survive and learned many lessons from this experience.


Ultimately, we put this reorg plan off for a few months until the closet started to collapse around us. So this weekend, Wil was literally in the closet working on the destruction and then construction of the closet. Since we couldn't afford to hire Oleg, we opted for doing things the Home Depot way, that is buying pieces that work together, following the directions and putting them up. I have to give Wil some credit, he did a pretty good job. We divided up the tasks. I took about 6 sections and he took about 6 sections and we have it mostly put together after about 8 or 9 hours of work. Now, I will admit that there may have been some profanity and possibly some banging and tossing of things during this endeavor, but with the exception of a few finishing touches, the new closet looks pretty good. And I have to say that my non-handy, handy-man did pretty good. Who knows, maybe I can try to convince him to come all the way out of the closet and try some more home improvement projects. Hmmm...something to think about.

Birthdays...

When we're children birthdays are so exciting...there's cake, ice cream, party hats, and presents...what's not to love!?! But as we get older, birthdays seem to lose a bit of their excitment. Is it because after 21, there's really nothing good to look forward to as we age? I've rarely heard people say, great..."I'm no longer in my 20s, I'm in my 30s". And as they reach middle age, you usually don't hear, "YES! I've been waiting my whole life to be middle aged!" That being said, there are some who look forward to retirement. Myself being one of those. But I'm not looking forward to the age of retirement...just the time when I don't have to go to work, but I'll still keep getting a salary. Maybe if they bumped retirement up to say 40. Then you would've worked anywhere between 15 and 20 years depending on schooling and yet you're still "young" enough to really enjoy retirement. Now, that would motivate me to be excited about 40. But as I approach my mid-30s this year, with 40 looming in the not-so-distant future...I must admit that I'm not really looking forward to that.

I also think another part of the problem may be the way we celebrate birthdays as we age. As I mentioned, when we're young there are lots of good things to think about and get excited about for birthdays. But when we get older, the yummy thick-icing cake is exchanged for some low fat dessert because we just can't consume those calories guilt-free anymore...the ice cream just really doesn't go with the low fat dessert or you opt for the low fat or fat free version of ice cream/frozen yogurt...nobody wants to wear party hats unless they've been drinking for awhile...and presents...well, presents never go out of style...they're always good.

So, how do we, as adults, regain the thrill of celebrating our birthdays? Should we abandon common sense and act like children again for just that one day...wear the party hats, eat the full fat cake and ice creaming and rip open our presents? Or are we relegated to birthdays being a day of dread instead of a day of joy...

Baywatch, The Sequel

The sequel won't have a buxom Pamela Lee running along the beach. Instead it will have another attractive blonde...a blonde male...a blonde male golden retriever named Indiana.

That's right...imagine Indy running down the beach in his red bathing bandana carrying an orange life buoy. While you may think at first that this sounds a little far-fetched, that's only because you didn't see him in action at the beach in St. Augustine. We expected David Hasselhoff to appear any moment to offer him the job.

While at the beach, Jon-Christian, Wil, Eddie, and well everyone repeatedly tried to boogie board. Unfortunately, Indiana was concerned that they were getting a little too far out in the water, so as you can see, he would swim out and grab the cord from the boogie board and pull them back to shore.

This happened everytime we went to the beach. Occasionally, Wil would get a questioning look from Indiana...kind of a, "Hey, can you control these people! How many times do I HAVE to save them?" If the Baywatch option doesn’t come along, we’re considering sending him to the Coast Guard Academy.

Dorsal fins and shark's teeth

When do you know it’s time to get out of the ocean? Some may say when it’s lightening. Some may say when you are too burnt to walk or when the sun goes down or when it’s time for lunch? There are many answers to that question. None of which are probably wrong…but I think perhaps one of the most urgent times to get out of the ocean is when you’ve seen dorsal fins within swimming distance and then you find a shark’s tooth on the beach, like we did today.

written 07/01/08

Happy Feet or Burning Feet

If you ever get the choice…go with the happy feet. I recently became the victim of Florida’s most dreaded onland predator…the fire ant. And if this weren’t bad enough…imagine a fire ant bite on top of poison ivy. Trust me, this is not a pleasant sensation.

Blog Editorial Comment

We felt the need to clarify an issue that has been of apparent concern to some readers. It appears that our sarcastic use of the term “stalker fish” in the blog on June 5th titled “Vacation” has caused some angst about visiting the beach and some deep concern about the horrible bite that Wil received from the infamous Stalker Fish.

To be clear the term stalker is defined as "to pursue quarry or prey stealthily" or "to pursue obsessively and to the point of harassment." The term fish is defined as "an aquatic animal." When putting these two words together we thought it would be appropriate to call the fish that followed us around the water for about 10 minutes a “Stalker Fish”. However, our wording has caused some to think that they had indeed heard of the terrible Stalker Fish and how dangerous they can be. It also caused a family member (we will withhold their name to protect their privacy) such concern that he/she decided to google “Stalker Fish” to find out more details about this dangerous creature searching for its prey along the coast of Honduras.

So as a point of clarification, while the shark would be the quitisential "stalker fish"…and the 3 inch fish that attacked Wil would probably be called bait fish or captured for a home aquarium…we thought that given the semi-humorous event that we would embellish and identify this fish (because of its behaviour of following us around the water) as a Stalker Fish. We cannot, however, say definitively that this is the correct name of the fish. Perhaps it was part of a shark in training program…

Scalpel, Sponge, Tack?

There have been several news reports in recent years about surgeons accidentally leaving scalpels and sponges and other pieces of medical equipment inside people after performing operations. It seems appalling that this type of oversight could happen. However, during my recent exposure to the medical industry I’ve come to the conclusion that these incidents were not accidents, but instead were done diliberately to help medical professionals remember where they had previously performed some sort of medical procedure. At least that’s what they told me when they inserted a tack in me as a marker to always know where they had been…so I can only assume it goes for other, more complicated procedures. So, maybe the bigger the procedure, the bigger the instrument that they leave to mark their place?

Pictures...

Today, Bailey would've been 3 months old. Ironically, we picked up the rest of the pictures from the photographer last night. Thought we'd share...

OUCH!!!

Throughout history women have been critical to the development of literature, medical advancements, governance, philosophy, science, and every other field that you can imagine. You would think that these brilliant women would've stopped their male counterparts from creating some of the more torturous devices that are used on today's women in the name of medicine.

The one that comes most to mind at the moment had several men involved in its development, but I haven't been able to nail down the one particular one responsible for the torture device that we see today. The first man on record is German surgeon Albert Solomon. He was the first to use X-ray to study breast cancer. Many, many years later and many, many sore breasts later we have the mammogram machines that presently exist.

This morning I had my first experience with this sadomasochistic ritual. And for those of you who are trying to speculate...no, I'm not quite old enough to "have" to have this done...but the good news for all of you is that the normal procedure isn't quite as bad as you've heard...merely awkward and uncomfortable. Imagine a vise-grip.

However, in the case where you have a lump...the more involved testing is agonizingly painful. And while it is misery, I do think I understand the premise behind the procedure. They first begin with a smaller platform (a smaller vise-grip) in order to localize the picture on the lump...or so they claim. But I think that's not quite it...I believe the purpose of this procedure is to squeeze the lump until it pops...kind of like a blemish...if it doesn't pop...then perhaps it's something to be concerned about.

I haven't been able to get the doctors to agree with me that this is the purpose...but I still think I'm onto something here. After all, if you have a clogged artery, what do they do? In essence, they send roto-rooter in there with some drano to unclog the artery. If you have an artery that's collapsing, they put a "stent" in there...kinda like an extra 2x4 in the structure to make sure the house doesn't collapse...so, wouldn't it make sense that they would apply the same type of logic to lumps? Just a thought.

Lessons learned

How many of you were unaware that if you leave a car running all night, at some point the battery will die and when you go to start that car...well, it won't start? If there were a few of you who were unaware of this phenomenon, hopefully Wil's experience of discovering this fact this morning will be helpful to you.

Father's Day

A River Runs Through It And Over Us...

There are many times that we hear stories of events and we think, "there's no way that really happened!" or "those people couldn't have been so stupid to do that!" Well, in our case...yes, it really happened and yes, we were that stupid.

We decided to get away from the oppressive heat by taking a leisurely ride on an inner tube down the Rappahanock River in Fredericksburg. This seems harmless enough. The adventurers included Wil's 10 year old son, Jon-Christian; my 16 year old niece, Nikki; my 14 year old nephew, Cameron; my 58 year old mother (who can't swim), Alice; my 72 year old father (who can't walk very well), Paul; Wil and myself. You should already be getting the idea that this was not one of our smartest ideas.

We started down the river just fine. At first we were all holding together and everything was going well.

The river was a bit rougher than normal due to recent rains, but all in all, we didn't think the rapids would be any problem. Now to set this up properly, you need to know that there are lots of rocks and boulders in the Rappahanock and that's what helps create the rapids. These rocks however are not very forgiving and can actually be quite brutal.

The problems started when we got separated. One person inadvertently lets go of the next person's inner tube and you have people going in all different directions. In theory, if you just relax and let the river take you where it will, you should be fine. However, when you try to guide yourself down the river in order to catch up or help others, that's really where the trouble begins.

I think Wil may have only spent 5 minutes on his inner tube the entire time. Instead he was swimming trying to keep everyone together and guiding their inner tubes, which explains how his ribs got bruised as he was quite often pushed into rocks and boulders by the current.

The kids and my dad somehow got ahead of us. My mom got stuck between some boulders in the river and I had to walk barefoot upstream in order to push her away from the rocks and get her moving again. For those of you who have walked in a rocky river you will know that rocks can be quite slippery and frankly they can really hurt barefeet.

Anyhow, I was able to get mom moving again, but then she got ahead of us when I subsequently got stuck in the rocks on my inner tube and then Wil and I got knocked off our tubes going through one of the rapids. At this point, we couldn't see anyone anymore and we had no idea where they were or if they knew where to get out of the river for our ride back to our car. As we rounded a bend, we saw my mom sitting on the side of the bank with some strangers. I sent Wil ahead to find the others while I went to see what was going on.

I found out that unfortunately, mom went over one of the rapid areas backwards and got knocked off her inner tube and trapped under it. Fortunately, the nice folks who were in the water at that area pulled her out, but she was in no condition to get back in the water, so we opted for walking to the road. This, however, was easier said than done. We discovered that we were actually on a little island in the river, which meant that we had to walk across a portion of the river and my mother wasn't so sure she was up to that. However, we made it across that part of the river and then began our journey through the poison ivy filled woods (note--remember the blog about my bad case of poison ivy) to try to make it to the road. After walking around for about 15 minutes on various paths, we finally walked across a dam and made it back to the road. One would think that this would be the end of the adventure, but no.

As we climbed out of the woods with the bottoms of my feet cut, bruised, and burned and my mother not feeling so well, we saw Wil's car go by. We found out later that he ran the couple of miles back to where the car was and was now out looking for us. As we began walking in the direction that Wil was driving, the van from the inner tube rental place saw us and picked us up to take us to the destination in order to catch up with Wil. When we got to the park, we were quite concerned because the park was filled with emergency vehicles and personnel. We were told that someone had gone under the water and there were rescue divers looking for this person. As we were running up and down the park trying to find the rest of the family and hoping that everyone was ok, I twisted my ankle.

We eventually found everyone and other than some bruises, cuts, scrapes, burns, twisted ankles, tears, and psychological trauma, we were all fine. I think we've learned many lessons coming out of this day...but what's most important is that we are thankful that we all came home from this misadventure with only the aforementioned injuries.

On a serious note, the river did claim a life that day though. A young man (17 years old) who was at the park with his church group did not make it out of the river. His body was found the next day.

An itch you can't scratch...

Do you ever get that itch that you just can't scratch? Sometimes that phrase might be more figurative. However in my case, it is quite literal. Unfortunately I have lots of itches I "can't" scratch right now...all over my legs. Poison ivy has struck again. The explanation as to how I came in contact with this cruel plant I will write about later, but needless to say I've been in utter misery for almost a week now...trying not to scratch...taking extra long showers to let the water "scratch" my legs for me. I did finally break down and get some 'roids from the doctor yesterday. Hopefully, I will be able to get rid of the dreaded ivy rash without looking like Ahhhnold by the time the treatment is done. And here's hoping that the ivy won't "be back."

A Florida Driver's License

There are many things that we think of when we think of Florida...sun, sand, beaches, Disney World, South Beach, alligators...but some may also think of retirees...older people from the North who decide that in their older years they want to enjoy the weather of Florida.

As people reach their "twighlight years" there is also a slowing of responses, and a decrease in vision...there are many jokes about the way older people drive, which makes me wonder...what are the standards for a Florida driver's license? Are they lower than other states? I now think I know.

Wil, who is still considered a resident of Florida has a Florida driver's license. Now, for those of you who have experienced riding with Wil...this may explain a lot...perhaps a driving test would be a good thing for him. Well, this past week he proved why there should be stricter standards for driver's licenses...and especially Florida driver's licenses.

While we were on vacation, storms came through Fredericksburg and we had a tree fall in our backyard. My parents were out for the Race for the Cure and worked with Wil to cut the tree and load it into their pickup truck. This seems easy enough....apparently, not. When I got home from work on Friday, the driver's side of my parent's truck was smashed and covered in what looked to be white paint...and then I noticed that there was siding missing from the side of the garage.

After some intensive interrogation, I discovered that while trying to drive from the backyard to the front with the cut tree...Wil "slid" into the side of the house. Now, I can understand not being able to miss a pothole that you don't see in the road...or maybe a tree limb...but how exactly do you not see a 2-story house? This makes me wonder...what are the requirements for a Florida driver's license?

Vacation

There are few things better than vacation. Getting away from normal life...putting all of your work and stress behind you...not thinking about cleaning or cooking or any of the normal things that keep us so busy. It always seems difficult to get away...but once you do...it's so very hard to come back. You can always go home, but you go home a little changed. Maybe a little poorer...a little more tan or burnt and hopefully a little more relaxed.

We just returned from one of those great vacations. The type that makes you wonder why you work until you realize that you work just so you can take vacations like that. It was our first cruise. And while some considered Wil crazy for getting back on a boat after spending the past 2 years on one, he assures me that this was an entirely different experience. First, we opted not to select a room with bunkbeds, so that was the first difference between a vacation cruise and a military ship. Apparently, the Navy doesn't create little towel animals and put them in each cabin either...shocking, I know.

And Wil swears that the food was better. All in all, it sounds like if you're interested in seeing the world by sea, a vacation cruise is a much better option than the military.

We saw many sights and enjoyed 8 wonderful days of adventures. We should've known that the trip would be exciting when our ship changed course on the first full day at sea. Unfortunately, another passenger became very ill and had to be evacuated from the ship via US Coast Guard, so we turned towards Tampa to meet up with a Coast Guard helicopter that would then take the passenger and his wife to the hospital for medical treatment.

This course change resulted in a change to our port visits. Instead of traveling to Grand Cayman, Honduras, Belize, and then Cozumel...we did the ports in reverse so our first port was Cozumel, Mexico.

In Cozumel, we decided to visit the ancient Mayan city of Tulum. Wil has decided that this wasn't actually an ancient city, but was instead the Mayan Spa and Resort. As you can see by the pictures...they couldn't have chosen a more beautiful location. I guess if I were going to be sacrificed, this is as good a place as any. We also learned that in the Mayan culture at Tulum, they would sacrifice the best and strongest. They would hold contests of athletic ability and the winner would be sacrificed to the gods. I guess this is one place where it really is best to come in second place.

After Cozumel we traveled to Belize. We again ventured to Mayan ruins, but this time we went to the Mayan Temple of Altun Ha. Fortunately, there were no known sacrifices at Altun Ha and instead it was kind of like a monastry for the Mayan priests until they believe the peasants revolted and took over the Temple grounds. Again, we're not so sure that the stories are accurate. After climbing to the top of one of the temples, we believed that this could possibly be an ancient stairclimber and we were in fact at the ancient Mayan Temple of Gold's Gym...or at least my legs felt that way for the next few days.

After we stumbled down the Temple, we made our way to a boat that would take us back to Belize City on the River Wallace. It was a great way to see the wild life in the area. We saw many, many iguanas...a crocodile, a manatee, some monkeys, bats, and various birds.

Our next stop was the absolutely charming island of Roatan, Honduras. We found out later that Roatan was actually where the opening scene of the television series Fantasy Island was taped. Some of our fellow guests took a trip to that particular beach and told us all about it. We however, decided that since we were still requiring assistance walking after Altun Ha, that we would take it easy and swim with the dolphins instead. We made our way to a wonderful little resort at Anthony's Key and took a boat out to where we would swim with the dolphins at a little island ironically named, Bailey's Key.

We had a wonderful time playing with the dolphins and this may have been my favorite part of the trip. After spending some time with the dolphins, we made our way to Tabyana Beach, where we encountered the infamous and dangerous Stalker Fish. Wil can attest to the danger of this fish as he was an unfortunate victim of a Stalker Fish bite.

The dangerous Stalker Fish

After leaving Honduras we encountered some rougher seas as a hurricane was coming across Nicaragua and Costa Rica making its way t0ward Honduras and Belize. Our next stop, however, was Grand Cayman. The day was a bit overcast, but turned out to be a lovely day as well. As anyone who has ever been to Grand Cayman will tell you, there are a few things that you must do if you go to Grand Cayman. One is that you must either get some Tourtuga Rum or Rum Cake and you must visit Stingray City. We did both.

We headed out to Stingray City and spent some time walking among the stingrays. I will admit that I had some serious reservations about this concept, so I allowed the others on the boat to get off before me...thinking if they survive...then surely I will too. Fortunately, we all survived.

We then took the boat over to the Coral Gardens for some snorkeling. The water was not as perfect for snorkeling as one would hope do to the overcast sky, but it was still beautiful and a lot of fun. We spent about 2 hours in the water until I was unfortunately, stung by a stray jellyfish tentacle that got my hand and lower lip.

As our day concluded, we headed back to the ship on our little tender (the boat that takes you from the ship to the pier and vice versa). However, we think our driver may have just received his boating license as he almost ran into a couple of other boats before we got off the pier and then did crash into the ship. Again, fortunately, we were all fine and the Carnival Cruise personnel quickly began grabbing ropes to pull the boat to the gangway and get the passengers off the boat.

Our last day on the ship was spent relaxing by the pool and making sure we were sufficiently burnt to show that we really had been on vacation. We got back to Miami and Wil's high school friend, Jason picked us up at the ship and we spent the day with Jason, his wife Lorena and son J.J. We saw some of Ft Lauderdale and heard tales Wil's high school adventures...it's amazing that Wil made it to 35.

Jason and Lorena and Wil at Jaxson's in Ft Lauderdale

Now, we're back home. And while it's always nice to head back home...I've already started looking to see where our next vacation will be.