Dates and Anniversaries...

Today I was thinking about dates and anniversaries.  Perhaps because this is one of those dates...the anniversary of a tragic day two years ago...yet today was a joyful day for other reasons.

Grayson's 4 month check-up was today.  He's doing great!  He's growing and developing as he should. He's a wonderfully happy little boy and a true joy in our lives. I feel truly blessed to have this wonderful little man and to have been able to spend all of this time with him before going back to work. I look forward to continue watching him grow and seeing him develop.

But two years ago today was not such a joyful day.  It was two years ago today that I was pregnant with our daughter, Bailey and going to our 39 week appointment. It was at that appointment that we discovered that Bailey no longer had a heartbeat. We delivered her two days later on March 26, 2008 and buried her a week later at Quantico National Cemetary.  It's been two years, but feels like yesterday.

It's amazing how much can change in two years...from being a date and anniversary of the most personally tragic day in my life to a day filled with good news and good health for Bailey's little brother, Grayson.  Perhaps that's why things work out this way...something good happening on a date that was a reminder of something tragic.  The balance of life...there's good and there's bad...but it's the good, the hope of happiness, and the memory of happy times that makes it all worthwhile.  It doesn't erase the memory or the pain, but reminds us that we can cope with anything.  And as Disney once said, "no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep believing, the dream that wish for will come true."

Daycare Adventures

I admit that I know very little about daycares. I've done some initial research and gathered information about what to look for, what questions to ask, etc.  I've talked to friends and coworkers and gathered recommendations of places in the area and thought that all of this would prepare me for visiting daycares to select the perfect place for Grayson.

Our first choice had always been the Child Development Center (CDC) on our base. Wil has heard great things about them.  They are monitored very closely and have strict regulations by the government and military and frankly, it's close.  Wil could be to the one on base in probably less than 5 minutes.  And I could probably get there in about 5 minutes, so it seemed like the perfect choice. 

I put us on the wait list for the CDC when I was about 3 months pregnant with Grayson, but he doesn't move to the "active" list until he is born, so I called the day after he was born to move him to that list.  Thinking that because I was going to be off almost 4 months and they said that the wait was usually 4-5 months that there would be no issue with him getting in there. I had the names of back-up locations, but I thought for sure he would get into the CDC.  Not to mention the fact that on the wait list, we were supposed to be priority 2 (so should have preference on the wait list--priority 1 is for single military households or dual military households). Well, I was wrong. I called in early March because I hadn't heard anything from them only to be told that the wait list was 2-3 months from that point and there were several children ahead of Grayson for the infant room. Argh.

With this realization, I began to call the other locations that coworkers had recommended. Fortunately, I found 1 (yes, I said 1) place that was accepting 1 (yes, I said 1) infant.  Gray could start April 12th which was past my original planned date to return to work. I talked to Grandma Alice and Grandpa Paul since they were planning to come out the first week of April anyway to see if they would be willing to babysit so that I could return to work on April 5th.  As you can probably guess, there wasn't a hesitation.  Maybe that's because they didn't realize at the time that Grayson had started teething, so has moments of not quite being himself...oh well, they'll figure that out soon enough.

I talked to work to let them know that I would have to delay my return. I filled out all of the paperwork and dropped it off along with the deposit. Everything was settled. This place, I'm sure was good enough. (although it kind of reminded me of a "baby farm" with a room filled with cribs lining the walls and toys in the middle of the room.  This place had high praise from some coworkers, but was about double the cost of the CDC. I assured work that I really wasn't being picky here...it was the ONLY place I could find that was accepting an infant in this general timeframe.

You would think this would be the end of the story, but no...that would be just too simple.  Just as we were getting ready to leave for Florida I got a call from the CDC saying that they had a spot available and Grayson could start there...April 12th. Ahhh...What to do...I called Wil and since the CDC had always been our first choice for the strict adherence to regulations and monitoring and the closeness to us during the day (and frankly at being half the price of the other place--although if it had been bad, I would have chosen the more expensive place obviously), we decided to make the move and accept the position at the CDC and cancel the other one.

Again, I filled out all of the paperwork and updated my 2-page "Getting To Know Grayson Information Sheet" that I had prepared with tricks to calm him if he gets upset, his likes and dislikes, etc.  (Don't worry Wil laughed at me too.) Gray and I stopped over to see the CDC and the general information, the concept was very similar to the more expensive place.  The major difference is that while we still have to provide, diapers, wipes, etc...we don't have to provide sheets and things like that, that we would have at the more expensive place. Another major difference was that at the CDC the cribs are metal, not wood.  I'm sure there is some reason for that. Perhaps because wood is porous and maybe germs or splinters or something...but when you look at a section of metal cells...er cribs you can't help but wonder if you're sending your child to daycare or prison.

So, while at the first place I feared that it was a baby farm. I'm now concerned about sending Gray to the prison daycare and began to wonder whether prisons and daycares have more in common than I first thought. Should I send Gray with a tin cup to bang against the metal bars of his cell to ask the warden for some "yard" time? Do I have to worry that he'll come home with a daycare tat one day with his gang sign? What kind of gangs would they have in the infant room at daycare? The "Cribs" and the "Bottles".

I have been assured by several people that daycare will be much more traumatic for me than for Grayson and so far, that seems to be true.  Although I will admit that Gray seemed a little concerned when we were there with the screaming little boy.  His poor little face looked like "where in the heck are you taking me? is this an insane asylum?"  Fortunately, they said that that boy was about one and so was getting ready to move up to the next room. Hopefully, Gray's other cellmates will be a little more laid back.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Gray at the Richmond Airport

On March 18th, we headed down to Richmond, VA to fly to Florida for Wil's baby sister's wedding. This might seem like a very typical thing to do and it would be except that it was Gray's first flight.  So, it was exciting and nervewracking.

On the first flight

We've all been on those flights with the screaming baby or toddler and frankly it makes the flight miserable for everyone else. I came prepared with extra bottles, several pacifiers, toys, and books, but you never know.  Fortunately, as usual Gray surprised us and was absolutely wonderful on both legs of the flight to Florida. He really was a trooper. And on the way back home on Sunday, he was just as wonderful on the flights and we even got some big smiles from him on the final leg of the flight home.

On the way home...Gray looks great...Daddy looks tired

What turned out to be the most difficult part of this adventure was carrying and maneuvering all of the stuff that you "need" to bring along with a baby.  Being novices, we probably brought too much, but I doubt we're the first of the last to do that and frankly it probably won't be the last time we bring too much or don't pack better.  For the next flight I think I'll check the stroller and carseat (instead of checking at the gate at each leg) and just carry Gray in the bjorn.  That will save us the hassle of folding and unfolding the stroller and carseat, getting them in their bags, dropping them at the end of the little walkway thing, etc. If it weren't for the hassle of those two items we probably did ok with our carry-ons.  However, the stroller was really nice to have for layovers. Oh well, you live...you learn.

Grayson 16 Week Photos

Reflux Update

In late February, we were finally able to get Gray into the Pediatric GI Specialist in Richmond.  The good news is that they didn't just increase the Zantac and we have options that don't include Zantac (which hasn't worked). YEAH! We have Gray on Prevacid now and it seems to really be helping with his acid reflux.  The doctor also recommended that we reduce his bottles to 4 oz and concentrate the formula.  Unfortunately, he didn't get Gray's buy-in on this recommendation and Gray is not in agreement with the bottle reduction.

Road Trip

In early March, Gray and I took a little road trip to Indiana in order to surprise my mom with a 60th birthday party.  While some may think it's crazy to start a 12ish hour road trip alone with a 3 1/2 month old, but really it went pretty well.  Gray is quite a good traveling companion.  We had some moments when he decided he was done with the drive for the day, but all in all, he was wonderful!

We left early on Thursday (the 4th) morning and started making our way to Indiana.  We would drive for 1 1/2 to 2 hours and then stop for an hour to feed and change Gray, and of course to play and be out of the carseat.  This plan worked really well.  When we would stop, Gray would flirt with anyone that would stop to admire him, giving them a big smile.  We were in Ohio when Gray decided that he'd had enough for the day and we spent about 40 minutes in some random trade school parking lot in order to calm him down.  After he forgave me we drove about another 30 or so minutes to Cambridge, Ohio (about an hour east of Columbus) and got a hotel for the night.  Gray was really great in the hotel.  And seemed to really enjoy himself.  I wasn't sure what to expect, this was his first night not sleeping in our bedroom (in his bassinet or our bed) and his first night in the pack-n-play, but he was fabulous.

We started out the next day and Gray wasn't sure he was ready for another day in the car which required us to make much more frequent stops.  We finally got to Auntie Heather's house in the afternoon and had a great time catching up.  Uncle Craig watched Gray so we could make a run to Cone Palace and get some ice cream. Yummm...

The next day we got up and headed into Tipton to set up for the party and I'm so thankful to everyone who helped (Heather, Lynn and Tom, Aunt Sue, Megan, Aunt Mary, etc).  Needless to say, mom was very surprised and when her cousin Beth tried to hand her Gray, she just looked like "nice baby, why are you trying to hand him to me", but then she took a double take and realized that it was Gray, grabbed him and said "That's MY baby." After that, I'm not sure anyone else got to hold him and I don't think she saw me for an hour or more. Oh well, I wasn't the important one anyway.

We spent the rest of the trip spending time with mom and dad and Cameron and then headed back on Tuesday (the 9th). 

On the way back we seemed to have some trouble finding good places to stop and so spent quite a bit of time spending our stops in the car, but we made good time and actually got home late on Tuesday night.  I promised Gray that if we made it in on Tuesday I would not put him in the car at all on Wednesday and I kept my word.  We stayed home, unpacked and relaxed. It was wonderful!

Sue (the nurse) also visited us on Wednesday and we found out that Gray had gained a little weight and is up to 12lbs 6.5oz.