Thursday, May 22, 2008
Going Silver...
Ok, so this time I'm not talking about Wil's hair, but rather his oak leaves...We just found out today that Wil was selected for Commander, so sometime in the next year, he'll no longer be Lieutenant Commander Pharis...he'll be Commander Pharis. I've thought long and hard about this change and this promotion, but all in all, I think it's a good thing. It's much shorter to say, "Commander Pharis take the trash out!" or "Commander Pharis, get your lazy bum out of bed," than it was to add the Lieutenant part onto that.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Anticipation...
There are many things we spend our lives wishing and waiting for. We patiently wait until we're old enough to drive, to vote, to drink...But after you reach the ripe old age of 21, there are few things that we anticipate with excitement...perhaps getting married and having children. Well, I've currently got two events that I'm excitedly anticipating. One is the Western Caribbean cruise that we're leaving for on Saturday...and the other...perhaps even more exciting than the cruise...the debut of the Sex and the City Movie on May 30th. I've spent the week re-watching the last season to prepare myself.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Who You'd Be Today...
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowing no one could take your place.
And sometimes I wonder,Who'd you be today?
Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
And I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowing no one could take your place.
And sometimes I wonder,Who you'd be today?
Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.
Some day, some day, some day.
Songwriter(s): Aimee Mayo, William C Luther
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face,
I hear you laughin' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowing no one could take your place.
And sometimes I wonder,Who'd you be today?
Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family,
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue,
I feel like I can talk to you,
And I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair: you died too young,
Like the story that had just begun,
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you,
All the hell that I've been through,
Just knowing no one could take your place.
And sometimes I wonder,Who you'd be today?
Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope,
Is I know I'll see you again some day.
Some day, some day, some day.
Songwriter(s): Aimee Mayo, William C Luther
Sunday, May 4, 2008
A Name in Stone...
It's so hard to say goodbye. Especially to someone we waited so long to meet. Everyday it seems like we're saying goodbye all over again. The days don't get easier like everyone promises they will. At least not yet and I can't imagine the day when seeing her name in stone won't be heartbreaking.
We discovered this week the finality of a headstone. While it's nice to have something more than a metal stake with a piece of paper to mark Bailey's final resting place, seeing the headstone with her name engraved reenforces that she is really gone.
We discovered this week the finality of a headstone. While it's nice to have something more than a metal stake with a piece of paper to mark Bailey's final resting place, seeing the headstone with her name engraved reenforces that she is really gone.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Answers...
It seems we spend our lives looking for answers...why things happen...how to do something...where to go...Sometimes these answers are reassuring and comforting...but sometimes answers are nothing more than that and provide no comfort at all.
We had an appointment with the perinatal specialist on Thursday to discuss the results of all the tests. They are still waiting for additional results, but the doctor believes he's determined what happened to Bailey, but not why. He said we may never know why...but he believes we know what.
According to the doctor, Bailey suffered from insufficient fetal growth, which caused her body to be too weak to withstand whatever stressor caused her actual death. He believes that she had been sick for several weeks before she actually passed, but there were no indications except for her size. Unfortunately, because everything seemed normal, they had no reason to check her size. When I last saw the perinatal specialist at the 28 week appointment, January 8th, she was in the 64th percentile in size, so above average. By the time she was delivered, she was in the 10th percentile. Something (the why that we don't know) in the third trimester reduced her ability to absorb nutrients and grow. Once the doctor has the rest of the results he's going to give us a call to see if they can determine why this happened.
So, we have answers...but no real comfort.
We had an appointment with the perinatal specialist on Thursday to discuss the results of all the tests. They are still waiting for additional results, but the doctor believes he's determined what happened to Bailey, but not why. He said we may never know why...but he believes we know what.
According to the doctor, Bailey suffered from insufficient fetal growth, which caused her body to be too weak to withstand whatever stressor caused her actual death. He believes that she had been sick for several weeks before she actually passed, but there were no indications except for her size. Unfortunately, because everything seemed normal, they had no reason to check her size. When I last saw the perinatal specialist at the 28 week appointment, January 8th, she was in the 64th percentile in size, so above average. By the time she was delivered, she was in the 10th percentile. Something (the why that we don't know) in the third trimester reduced her ability to absorb nutrients and grow. Once the doctor has the rest of the results he's going to give us a call to see if they can determine why this happened.
So, we have answers...but no real comfort.
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